about

i am me

i am hidden, for now, while i work on strengthening my voice, and tempering my rage into something positive and useful.
i survived an abusive relationship. i was not in it for long, thankfully, but it was for long enough.

he was physically abusive toward me and several times i feared for my life, but those bruises and marks and my own self harm fell away the minute i ceased all contact – that was probably the most difficult part, and the hoovering attempts and stalking continue more than a year on.

a global pandemic has helped keep me safe, and has at least bought me time to breathe and regain my brain from the fog of exhaustion, to grow strong and to plan. it’s the psychological stuff, the triggers, that takes longer to disentangle.

and the anger, oh my god, that white hot fury. making sure that does not burn me alive is half the struggle.
however, the lightness of being is returning and i wake up happy more and more frequently, genuinely deeply grateful and joyful that i got out, and for the help i received in getting me out.

and for being believed.

i am not a therapist or a coach; these are simply snapshots of my story from my experience.

my tale is told through lists, pose, poetry, and articles. i provide a links and resources page, and the books that were suggested to me by the people who care.

my tale is not in any order, but life with a partner displaying narcissistic traits – and the immediate re-entry into existence after – is not one of order. order comes long after. in the meantime its molten and organic.

i hope these words, and the light between them, can be useful to someone, a solace, a salve.

this here is a safe, soft place.
please be kind to each other in the comments, and out in the world.